A popular snippet of advice out there in the self-help world is to think positive thoughts.
Which I think is a load of old bollocks.
Now, I am all FOR getting curious about your thoughts and what you say to yourself all day long – did you know we have over 60,000 thoughts a day? Because, really, if you’re a negative ninny-type, this means that ultimately you’re inflicting yourself with 60,000 pretty shitty thoughts. Which is far from good.
Thinking positive thoughts is the obvious antidote to this, right? To think 60,000 lovely thoughts instead.
Makes sense.
But in reality, it’s really hard to find positivity in everything. Because some things in life are far from positive and it’s therefore impossible to add a positive spin to them.
I believe it’s more useful to just look for a more helpful thought. Doesn’t have to be positive, just slightly less shitty. This morning, for example, upon being woken by my screaming baby at 4am and wishing he’d just shut up, I immediately thought, “You’re a bad mum for wishing he’d shut up. You’re so mean.” Instead of standing there, rocking him, with the thought, “You’re a bad mum” going over and over in my mind, I reframed it for, “You’re tired out and you’re doing the best you can.”
I didn’t choose to think, “I am so grateful that he is screaming at 4am”, because seriously, NO I WAS NOT AND PLEASE JUST SLEEP FOR GOD’S SAKE.
Get it? Just find a more helpful thought. One that takes the edge off but doesn’t feel like you’re having to summon a magical, Barbie-type world of thinking.
This way, your day is filled with 60,000 potentially better thoughts that you can actually believe and get behind.