What if it wasn’t actually about you

Every Sunday morning, I get up early and head to a coffee shop in town. It’s a quiet ritual. The streets are mostly empty, the same friendly barista is always on shift, and I sit in the same corner with a flat white and my laptop, hoping the words will come. It’s my favourite kind of writing time: early, quiet, no pressure. Just me, the coffee, and whatever wants to be said. This morning, a woman walked in and was — in my opinion — rude. Snappy tone. No eye contact. Treated the barista behind the counter like they were [...]

By |2025-04-15T12:24:25+01:0015 April 2025|

Don’t do the thing. Just do the first thing.

If you’re one of my clients, you’ll know we’ve recently had a new kitchen put in at our flat here in the UK. I’ve had to work from all corners of the flat, dodging the burly, loud builders as best I could—drills going, radios blaring, someone always shouting “Mate, pass me the saw!” Ambience: zero. Some days I escaped entirely and set up in friends’ spare rooms, trying to find a bit of calm. More than one client has asked, mid-session, “Where are you today?” So when the dust finally settled—literally and emotionally—I thought, “Right. I’m going to tile the [...]

By |2025-04-08T07:14:13+01:007 April 2025|

Has your relationship with your body shifted over time?

A quick heads-up before we get into it: This one touches on body image, weight, and food guilt. If that’s a sensitive spot for you right now, please read gently—or skip it altogether if that’s what you need. No pressure, ever. Yesterday, I sat next to a woman in a café. As I placed my order, she pointed at my cake and said, “That looks amazing. I wish I could allow myself to eat that.” Now, I’m curious by nature (some might say nosy—but let’s go with curious), so I asked, “Well, why can’t you?” She sighed. “Because I’ll feel [...]

By |2025-04-07T16:39:46+01:0026 March 2025|

What’s the thing you secretly want but haven’t let yourself admit yet?

In 2015, our son was just four months old, and I was standing at a pivot point in my career. I was still working in a job while growing my coaching business on the side. I could feel it—I was right on the edge of my business becoming truly viable, of it being the thing that could fully support us. But I was stretched thin, living in London with my wife, both of us working long hours and quickly realising that the life we had built just wouldn’t be possible anymore as a family. So we made a huge decision. [...]

By |2025-04-08T07:16:52+01:003 February 2025|

Breaking repetitive behaviour and thought patterns

Have you ever caught yourself doing something over and over, even though you know it’s not helping, but you just can’t seem to stop? Maybe you’re endlessly scrolling on your phone, dodging that uncomfortable task or ordering takeaway again because, let’s face it, you just can’t be arsed cooking tonight. You’re not alone. One of the most valuable insights I’ve gained from over a decade of working with clients is this: You can’t really stop or change a behaviour until you figure out why you're doing it in the first place. Everything we do—even the habits that make us roll [...]

By |2025-01-24T13:09:50+01:0024 January 2025|

Christmas – what’s it like for you?

I want to wish you… a Christmas. Not necessarily a “Merry Christmas” or a “Happy Christmas,” because I know that’s not how it feels for everyone. For some, it’s joyful and magical; for others, it’s hard or chaotic—or maybe just another day. And that’s okay. I also don't want to write something general and vague or insincere. I want to say something truthful and real. So here goes. I hope it covers you all. If Christmas is exciting and magical for you: If you’re counting down the days with a twinkle in your eye and excitement in your heart, I [...]

By |2024-12-17T11:19:14+01:0017 December 2024|

You’re not there yet

Every morning, my son hops on his scooter and zips down the road to his friend’s house, where they meet up to ride to school together. And every morning, I’ve started tagging along for those few hundred metres with our dog, Nanook. It’s become one of my favourite parts of the day. The world is still dark, but the twinkling Christmas lights are starting to glow in windows. It’s peaceful, and for those few minutes, it’s just me, my son, and Nanook padding along. A tiny pocket of time before the day gets busy. This morning, as we neared his [...]

By |2024-12-17T11:08:55+01:002 December 2024|

Am I the Dalai Lama of toast?

The other day, I was at one of my favourite coffee shops. It’s got that perfect mix of atmosphere: the low hum of conversation, the steady whirr of the coffee grinder, and just the right kind of music drifting through the space. The barista there, Tom, knows my order before I even say it. It’s a place full of interesting people, each wrapped up in their own little worlds. I’d settled in with my coffee, already engrossed in a new book, so I didn’t notice the couple who had slipped in and taken the table next to mine. Eventually, though, [...]

By |2024-11-21T16:03:52+01:0021 November 2024|

We have to kill the butterfly

I’ve always loved the writer Ann Patchett—her novels, essays, and especially her way of capturing the messy, complicated reality of being human speak to me in a way that makes me feel less alone. There’s one quote of hers that I keep coming back to, and often share with my clients, a metaphor that perfectly sums up the struggle so many of us face, not just in creative work, but in everyday life. In one of her essays, she talks about the feeling of having a perfect, beautiful idea for a book in her head. She describes it like a [...]

By |2024-10-17T17:25:34+01:0017 October 2024|

All it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage

The other day, during a coaching session, one of my dear clients shared with me a motto that she had raised her sons with: "All it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage." As she said it, something clicked within me. I could see how that single phrase had guided her through so many tough moments in her life. It’s such a simple yet powerful idea, isn’t it? The notion that we don’t have to be fearless or fully prepared; sometimes, all we need is a brief moment of courage to take the leap, to do the thing. So often, [...]

By |2024-10-17T17:26:23+01:008 October 2024|
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