People often question how I cope with living in two different places, with so much to-ing and fro-ing. "Do you find it stressful?" they ask. I don't find it stressful, no. But I find the "leaving" and the "returning" hard to navigate. I feel discombobulated and untethered and, well, a bit sad. And these feelings begin to heighten in the days leading up to the "leaving" as we live amongst half-packed boxes and suitcases and the deep-knowing that we won't be here again for many months. I was talking with a dear client yesterday about liminality. He is someone who [...]

Ever had one of those days where you need a break from everything? That was me last Sunday. After a full week of client work, parenting my endlessly curious and chatty 9-year-old, and life’s general chaos, I was wiped out. I almost skipped my yoga nidra and sound bath class, but I knew my frayed nervous system needed it. So there I was, mat down, eye mask on, surrendering to the teacher’s soothing voice. Just as I started to relax and melt into my mat, someone started snoring. Really fucking LOUD too. I spent the rest of the 90-minute class [...]

“Liz - go to your room!” What on earth does being banished to my room for being ‘naughty’ as a child have to do with my relationship with my wife? Oh, just about everything. I grew up in a household where expressing emotions wasn’t exactly encouraged. There were eruptions, no doubt, but then… silence. Disappointment, anger, and sadness were swept under the rug and in time, I learned to keep my feelings and needs to myself. On the other hand, my wife grew up in a family with a lot of shouting. When we first got together, and I started [...]

Guten Morgen, ich möchte ein Bier. I wouldn’t go as far as proclaiming I’m bilingual. My level of German is badly conversational, if that, which explains why I’m wishing you a good morning and asking for a beer at 10 am sitting in my cute new flat in Macclesfield. (No, we haven’t moved back to the UK for good). My wife and I decided to move to Germany from London 8 years ago when we first became parents. It was the right decision for us back then and the stage of life we were in, and I love the tranquil [...]

I spend a LOT of time in my coaching practice supporting clients with processing difficult feelings. Guilt. Shame. Fear. Loneliness. Grief. The list goes on. Feelings that, more often than not, people try and run away from. Pretend they don’t exist. Bury their heads in the sand hoping they’ll disappear when they come back up for air. And guess what? I’m not immune to this either, as I recently discovered. Last month, Silja died. She was an Iceland pony that lived on our little farm here. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had a deep connection with animals. [...]

Well, it's that time of year again—the month where we’re either brimming with hope, resolutions, and energy. Or, we feel like crawling back into bed, getting lost in Netflix and seeking refuge from the demands of the world. I always find that January, with its peculiar dual nature, encourages a kind of tug-o-war between motivation, new promises and fresh starts and the quiet pull of introspection, hibernation and going slow. As the second week of January unfolds, I’m noticing that there is a part of me eager to engage with the world, set goals, and initiate change, while another part—quieter [...]

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, you were bigger than the whole sky. She died. My Nan. The indomitable matriarch. The mother of my mother. The Yorkshire tea-drinking aficionado. The one I somehow thought would live forever. The bearer of such, deep and gentle, dignified and unwavering love for me, my sister and our children. And now she's gone. I've never felt such an absence, such a ground-shifting chasm before in my life. When my mum died, it was too shocking, too traumatic to comprehend, I barely felt anything. I just sleepwalked numbed and disassociated for so many years after. But this time, [...]

My Nanna's house has been up for sale for a month or so now. She's lived in a care home since the end of last summer. It wasn't an easy decision, for her to move there, but there were just too many falls, too many frantic phone calls in the middle of the night, too much confusion, too much worry. She wasn't safe anymore. While her house is on the market, we've decided to live in it for a while: Me, my wife and my son. It felt important to be here, to prepare her home for the new people [...]

My son has a plastic turtle night light that he keeps on his bedside table. It projects an underwater effect onto the walls and ceiling of his bedroom and plays ocean sounds. He originally bought it for me for my birthday, but 5 minutes after I'd opened the box, he claimed it as his. 5 weeks ago, the batteries started to run out on the turtle. Sometimes the ocean sounds didn't play, or the underwater effect didn't project properly. Sometimes, the turtle didn't even switch on. "It needs a new battery", I told my son. "I'll have to go to [...]

I bought a plant last year. When I bought it, it was 3 times bigger, with lots and lots of bright green, thriving leaves. I put it in my bathroom. Slowly, however, it started to die. I didn't know why. I figured that I had been overwatering it, so I gave it less. Nothing changed. I moved it from one end of the room to another—maybe it was too near the radiator? Nothing changed. In fact, its leaves started to curl up and go brown. After several months, the leaves began to drop off, and finally 4 dry stalks were [...]