“Why, are you some special snowflake or something?”
I saw the palpable relief wash over my client’s face as we laughed about what I’d just said.
We all think we’re pretty special don’t we? And, no, I don’t mean ‘special’ in a “Look at me, I’m so fucking important and amazing!” kind of way, I mean in a “I am different to everyone else this must only happen to me!” kind of way.
We humans have this tendency to believe that there’s this set of life rules that we must follow, that others don’t have to, right? I mean, come on, honest-hands up if you think you have to have your life all figured out? I know I do. I don’t think that about the people I coach or my friends or family or kid. But me? MUST HAVE LIFE TOTALLY FIGURED OUT, LIZ! OR ELSE.
Or else what? (Fuck knows).
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who thinks you should have this ‘Being An Adult’ gig down pat by now and that there’s possibly something wrong with you because you find it hard to get out of bed in the morning and getting dressed involves picking up your clothes from the floor where you left them last night because, fuck, you’re feeling exhausted right now and can hanging clothes on coat hangers in a Goddamm wardrobe just give me a break over here?
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who can somehow psychically see through other people’s good intentions and know what they’re really up to or want from you.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who gets caught in a cyclone of shame and guilt and overwhelm when you read all the #eatclean and #youarewhatyoueat hashtags on social media as you’re shoving pizza into your mouth.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who covert-ninja-style avoids your neighbour when you spot her at the supermarket, because you’ve had a shit day and you haven’t yet cleaned your teeth even thought it’s 3pm, and you just don’t want to fucking talk in the canned vegetables aisle, for fucks sake.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who, on accepting a new friend request on Facebook, or a new follower on Instagram, goes through your own feed, getting a feel for how your new friend or follower will perceive you.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who gets lost in a Netflix vortex, coming up for air only to pee and make popcorn.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who, instead of feeling inspired and pumped up by all the Think Happy Thoughts! pictures on your Instagram feed, just feels somehow flawed for not being able to pull that shit off.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who takes their phone into the bathroom and checks their emails and social media feeds.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who feels overwhelmed with ALL THE THINGS and sometimes just needs to climb back into bed and not speak to anyone for at least a week.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who hates your job but cannot muster the energy or focus to do anything about it.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who shimmies between thoughts of “I must go to the gym!” and “Maybe I’ll just start next Monday instead?”
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who thinks you’re the reason your friend, partner or colleague is in a weird or angry mood.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who sits on a bus or train and stares pensively out of the window, pretending you’re in a music video.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who gives meditation a try and then gets up after 2 minutes because you’re so fucking irritated and uncomfortable.
Maybe you think you’re the only person in the world who thinks everyone is looking at you—and not in a good way.
I have news for you, only person in the world: You’re not (that special).
It’s good to know, right?