Why September beats January for a fresh start.

I’m back after taking most of the summer off from writing. Hello again!

I’ve spent most of the last couple of months pottering around at home, growing some impressively large pumpkins and far too many courgettes, walking my dog, Nanook, early in the mornings, and playing a few gigs with my band. It has been really good to have a bit more space and not feel like I need to turn everything I’m doing or thinking into something to write about.

I’ve also spent hardly any time on social media, which has been interesting. I didn’t plan some big digital detox, I just stopped reaching for my phone so much, and I’ve noticed how much calmer my brain feels without constantly checking what everyone else is doing. I’m now at the point where I’m genuinely wondering whether I want to delete Instagram altogether, although I haven’t decided, and I may well still be there in six months posting a picture of a cup of coffee or something.

There are lots of things I like about Instagram. I’ve met brilliant people through it, clients have found me there, and I’ve had conversations, made friends and found writers, ideas and music I probably wouldn’t otherwise have come across. But I also notice how I feel when I’m not on it very much, and the slightly inconvenient truth is that I feel better. This seems well worth paying attention to.

My pal Bernie and I are about to start recording season three of our podcast, and next week we’re recording the first episode, which is going to be about social media. I did have a moment of wondering whether anybody really needs another conversation about it, because surely everything that can be said has already been said. We know phones are addictive, comparison can make us feel dreadful, and I don’t think many of us put our phone down after half an hour on Instagram feeling noticeably better about our own lives. But I still want to talk about it, partly because I’m in the middle of trying to work out what I actually think. What do I get from it now? Why does it feel so gross to me at the moment? What am I there for? And what happens when something I used to quite like just doesn’t feel the same anymore?

That’s one of the things I like most about the podcast, actually. Sometimes we choose a subject because one of us has something clear we want to say, but quite often we just want to sit down together and talk until we understand our thoughts a bit better. Hopefully the conversation will be useful for anyone listening who feels similarly conflicted, or even completely differently. Maybe you love social media, maybe you’re tired of it but don’t want to leave, or maybe you’ve already deleted everything and think the rest of us are ridiculous. If you have somehow managed to have a perfectly healthy relationship with Instagram, please do, if you have the time, reply to this email and explain how. I’d love to know!

All of this fits with why I like September so much, actually. I’ve never really loved summer. It’s too hot for me and always seems to come with a strange pressure to be out doing things, enjoying every minute and making the most of it. Autumn feels much gentler. The mornings here in Germany are getting properly cool now, the dog walks are darker and quieter, and I like the permission this time of year gives me to do a little less. And, importantly, to start wearing jumpers again.

I finished a session with a client the other day and asked her, “What are you taking away and reflecting on from our session today?” She thought for a second and said, “That you wear really cool jumpers.” Not exactly the deep therapeutic insight I was expecting, but I’ll take it. Then the other evening I put on my favourite yellow beanie hat for the first time in months and genuinely felt a bit more like myself again.

Oddly, though, even though Autumn feels so snug and cosy and slower, it also makes me want to change things up a bit. I think there’s something about the shift in season that gives me a little burst of energy, which is probably why I spent last week redecorating and redesigning my bedroom and doing various other bits of DIY around the house.

September has always made more sense to me as a fresh start than January. January feels like a terrible time to expect ourselves to become new people, when most of us are cold, knackered and still recovering from Christmas. September feels softer to me. It makes me want to look at what is working, what isn’t, what I’m tired of, and what I might want the next few months to feel like.

I don’t think this has to mean a big life overhaul. I certainly won’t be doing that. Sometimes change is much slower and smaller than that.

So perhaps that’s my September question for you, and for me too: what might you want to do differently before the year is out? Not because you need to fix yourself or become more productive or better or whatnot, but because something has shifted over the summer, or because you’re ready for something to.

If you’re in that kind of place and you’d like some help working it through, I have a little space for 1:1 coaching this autumn. You don’t need to arrive knowing exactly what needs to change. “I’m not quite sure, but something feels off” is more than enough to begin with.

For now, I’m very happy to be back here, writing to you again, and heading into my favourite part of the year with a kitchen full of courgettes and absolutely no idea what to do with all the pumpkins (other than make vat loads of soup).