Last night, as I climbed into bed, I set my alarm for 5am so that I could get an early morning swim in before a full day ahead.
Do you know what happened at 5am this morning when my alarm rang?
I turned it off. “Fuck that” I thought. And rolled over. There was no way I was getting out of bed, in the dark and cold, for a swim.
5 minutes passed.
I couldn’t get back to sleep. How annoying. 10 more minutes passed.
I still didn’t get up.
You know when your friend texts you, an hour before you’re supposed to meet, with a “I’m sorry, something came up, can we reschedule?”
It’s fucking annoying, right?
And yet we do shit like this all the time to ourselves.
I’ve not been exercising as much recently since Franz arrived in the world, and I’ve started to notice just how shit and lethargic I feel when I don’t. So, yesterday, I made a decision to start swimming each morning. I figured that if I get up early and I’m at the pool by 5.30am, I’ll be back by 7am to make my partner, Kristin, breakfast and help her with things around the house before starting work for the day.
It felt good to be back in the game. To have made a decision. To feel fired up again. Motivated.
And then the alarm went off this morning and well, as you know, it all went to shit.
Except it didn’t quite go completely to shit.
Because I actually got up after those 15 minutes of flaking out.
I forced myself.
I went into autopilot.
And at 6am, I was in the pool.
Ok, so can I let you in on something here? At no moment during the time it took me to get up, clean my teeth, grab my swimming bag and clothes and shampoo and shower gel and swimming costume and cap and goggles, did I want to go swimming. Nuh uh. Not at all. I didn’t even want to BE swimming when I was actually swimming.
But I did. Know why? Because from the moment I decided, 4 years ago, that something in my life HAD to change, I realised this: I was never going to feel like changing or doing anything.
I mean, come on.
Who actually wants to change? To do the work? To make the effort? To get up every day and exercise and eat a salad instead of a pizza dripping with ALL THE CHEESE and find something in your life that makes you feel ALIVE and excited instead of sitting at your shitty desk in your shitty job and wanting to stab yourself in the head with the free pencil you received with your stationery order last week?
NO-ONE. THAT’S WHO.
It’s much easier to just stay as we are, right? To not try, to not have to feel uncomfortable and unsure and on your 30th length in the pool when your arms and legs and lungs are already burning, and knowing you’ve got 30 more to do.
And yet, while knowing that I would never feel like changing anything in my life, I went from lazy, demotivated coach potato to ultra-marathon runner. I launched three companies in under a year. I quit eating shitty food and slowly transitioned to a plant-based diet.
Once I realised that I wouldn’t ever really feel like making a healthy green smoothie or going for a swim – and to push through the resistance of this feeling, I became unstoppable.
This mindset has transformed my life. Seriously.
It was this exact mindset that carried me through this morning.
And right now, as I sit here writing this, I’m so glad I did. I’m so glad I didn’t flake out.
Because for the rest of the day, I’ll feel really fucking good.
Which is the whole point, right? With most things. To feel really fucking good. About yourself.
And about life.
Where are you flaking out right now in your life? What is it that you know you need to change?
ps: My online Group Coaching Workshop, via Skype, is nearly full. If you want in – if you want your life to be less HUMDRUM and more HELL YEAH – along with a small group of people who are in exactly the same boat as you, click this link to find out more: