“How are you?”
“Oh, you know, I’m okay. You?”
“Yeah, I’m okay thanks.”
Recognise yourself in there?
Yup. Me too.
Why are we always saying we’re okay? What does okay even mean?
It means nothing.
Being okay is BULLSHIT.
Seriously, you really think you’re ‘okay’ in your job, the one in which you spend 2 hours a day doing the work you’re actually paid to do, while you spend the other 6 hours watching cat videos on YouTube and playing Candy Crush? You’re okay?
You really think you’re ‘okay’ spending £100 a month on membership at a gym you haven’t actually visited in 7 months? You’re okay?
You really think you’re ‘okay’ when you start drinking at 4pm on a Sunday, because you can’t cope with the fact that you have to go to work tomorrow? You’re okay?
You’re not okay.
When you say you’re okay, it’s a get-out of jail card. It’s a brush off. It’s keeping the person who has asked, “How are you?” at arms length. It’s keeping yourself at arms length. Saying you’re okay is an excuse to stay small, to hang in the shadows, to never speak up and say what you mean. Saying you’re okay is playing safe, never having that conversation, bitching about that person to anyone who’ll listen but not having the balls to say it to their face. That’s what okay is.
When you say you’re okay, you’re not just telling the person who asked you that you’re okay, you’re also telling yourself that you’re okay. But you’re not.
Telling yourself that you’re okay is seriously limiting you.
Telling yourself that you’re okay is the reason you sit in front of the TV every night instead of going for that run you promised yourself you’d go for.
Telling yourself that you’re okay is the reason you’re still with your partner, the one you know you should have left two years ago.
Telling yourself you’re okay is the reason you’re still at the same career level, even though newer, less experienced colleagues have been promoted all around you.
Telling yourself that you’re okay is the reason why you’re still smoking those cigarettes you keep on meaning to quit.
You’re not okay.
And it’s ok to not be okay.
Maybe it’s time for you to admit that you’re not okay.
First step! Stop saying you’re okay!
You’re so much MORE than just okay. You’re funny and intelligent and you fuck things up from time to time. You’re incredibly capable and beautiful and worthy and brilliant and sometimes sad, yet thriving and creative and limitless and courageous and a really amazing person.
So next time someones says, “How are you?”, tell them the truth.